I just left our Monday night church meeting with excitement, hope, and intention. The women gather each Monday night in small groups to discuss the Sunday service and fellowship together. (The men do an actual Bible study.) I have been very down the last couple of months (thus, I haven’t had much inspiration for blogging). Depression and anxiety has been a real struggle of mine, lately. I was feeling discouraged and full of doubt. I didn’t feel like God was with me, and I felt alone. Two weeks ago a very sweet sister at church wanted to pray for me, and while she was praying and mentioning every single trial I was facing, even though I hadn’t talked about any of it, all I could do was cry. Through her, God showed me that He was still here; He hadn’t left me! Then I saw this on Facebook:
That felt like a slap in the face! I was still praying and going to church Monday nights, but I hadn’t been reading the Bible or going to the Sunday service. I was the one who left, I wasn’t all in. He’s always all in! And as if that wasn’t enough, God thought I needed to hear one more bit of advice:
I thought I had been very faithful that God was going to get us out of this rut. But was it faith, or was it hope? I have been faithful, but there’s always a seed of doubt in the back of my mind. I feel like I have to figure out a way, and in a way I do, but I really need to trust God fully to provide and stay on his path (not mine). I feel like things need to change right now, and God isn’t working fast enough, but there more than likely is a reason I’m where I am right now, whether I like it or not. And like someone mentioned at church tonight, you can’t pray and wait for something to fall into your lap (which does happen, but not always). You need to pray and do! Pray about it, and go do something about it. God will open and close doors to keep you on his path when you are with Him!
Getting back to my first statement… Tonight, we talked about putting God first in our day, week, month, and year. One of the ways to put God first this coming year is by fasting and many of the church members will be fasting for 21 days starting January 1st.I have always wanted to fast, but I wasn’t ready (in many ways). I am absolutely going to do it this time though. I haven’t figured out which fast to do yet, but I will participate! I want to fast for a closer relationship with God, for healing in my husband, and for something I’m personally struggling with (which I’m not ready to share). I read a good article about fasting earlier you can check out for more information about fasting.
I also spoke to a sister after the meeting about work, finances, and housing. It was a very encouraging conversation and made me feel very determined to move forward in prayer and action. She was full of good ideas, and she may not know it, but she gave me the push I needed to get things moving. Between our conversation, the idea of fasting, and a fresh start, I’m excited, hopeful, and ready to lead a life with intention!
If anyone has fasted before, please share you experience and which fast you chose to do.
*Photos were found on Pinterest @ http://www.pinterest.com/gods411/gods-not-dead/*